he's smokin'

I want to be in America, right about now.

Today was destined to be a really good day.
MY URBAN OUTFITTERS DRESS FINALLY AMAZINGLY AWESOMELY CAME IN TODAY.
I was looking forward to it.
And then, shit happens.
SHIT ALWAYS HAPPENS.
Can you imagine my utter dismay when the strap broke when I was trying it for THE FIRST TIME?
god. save me.

I need to push myself further.

DARN.
I KEEP HAVING DEJAVUS TODAY.

So maybe I talk too much. My laugh isn’t as adorable as it could be. I’m loud, but than I can be quiet. Sometimes I can act like a little kid, other times I can be a stuck up bitch. I’ll get annoying, clingy and angry every once in a while. But that’s what makes up me. And if you don’t love all of me, just don’t bother loving me at all.

I want someone I can go to. Someone I can tell my secrets to. Someone who won't judge me for the mistakes I've made. I wanr someone who understands. I want someone who hears, not just listens. I want someone who says goodnight to me, and prays to god they get the chance to say good morning. I want someone who knows my quirks. I want someone who wipes my tears away. I want someone who needs me. I want someone who cares.

STOP JUDGING ME.
I'm only human.

Temptations

"How come," he asked, "there's no gravestone?"

Gus looked at the freshly turned earth. "It's too soon," she said.

Chris nodded and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his coat. "Which way is the top?" he asked.

Gus looked at him dumbly. "What do you mean?"

"The head," he explained. "Which end is Emily's head at?"

Shocked, Gus glanced wildly around the cemetary. The plots were not straight, but fairly haphazard. However, a predominant number of headstones were facing a certain way." I guess the far end," she said. "I'm not sure."

Chris walked away to kneel at the grave again, and Gus thought, Ah, of course. He wants to talk to her. But to her amazement Chris straddled the slight mould and lay down on top of it, his arms holding close to the flower arrangements he was crushing, his head and shoes just spanning the six feet, his face pressed into the earth. Then he stood up, dry-eyed, and walked back to the Volvo. Gus put it in gear and continued along the cemetary road, shaking with the effort not to look at her son, whose mouth was ringed with a lipstick of soil as branding as any kiss.

-Jodi Picoult

The Pact.

I'm awkward, inappropriate and weird.
Repulsive, bad-tempered and morally revolting.
Quarrelsome, sinful and absolutely pathetic.

and yes, I am having a hard time.

Sleepover with WQ was AWESOME!

Home Alone Day One

I am officially screwed for tomorrow's tuition.
That pile of PYQ lies on my table, untouched.
DML.

Back to the topic of Home Alone Day One.
No encounters with supernatural phenomenon.
All in all, I am seriously not accustomed to being alone.
Lack of communication.
I find my left brain communicating with my right.
Pathetic huh?
For what it's worth, god has showered love upon me,
keeping me entertained with the YOG which passed by my house.
and as much as this may sound unbelievable,
I saw a balloon from my window today.
It disappeared into the clouds.
I don't know why, but it seemed symbolic to me.
Oh well, shall attempt to make breakfast tomorrow.
this is an uninteresting post.
Abort operation to "publish post".


Btw, I love Jessie's XiaoBai.
Had fun.

It never was.

And I believe, that punch had hurt. BIG TIME.

Insecurity.

12.27, not what I had in mind.

My itouch crashed again.
and I'm waiting for its miraculous revival, like the last time.
DAMN.
why does this always happen to me?

Dear Min Jeung and Ga Hyun,
you shall be dearly missed.