As I grow older, I become tired.
I become tired of trying to make small talk with people, trying to make friends with them, and eventually having that friendship reduced to awkward greetings whenever you chance upon them occasionally.
I do not know what makes me feel this way.
But I honestly do not see the point of making such transient "friendships".
Maybe it's the memories that you've had with them that matters.
But what are memories when they only form memories?

I have no idea since when I started disliking birthdays.

Maybe it's since the day I cried myself to sleep on my birthday.

But the thing with birthdays, is that you expect a certain something from it.

You expect your friends to come knocking at your door at 12am, you expect it to be the best day of the year.

And expectations lead to disappointment.

Despite how many times you tell yourself not to expect anything, your mind will still somehow make up scenarios of having the best birthday ever.

Somehow life always disappoints.